I am exhausted. Boo is sick -- the dreaded h1n1 -- and so is exH. Lulu stayed home from school today, but she's OK. I am somehow not sick, at least not yet. I am going to be so upset if I am sick for our Disney trip next week!
So with the sick kids at home (and wow, is Boo whiny!) and craziness at work, it's been hard to focus on the happiness stuff. But here's what I've got ...
1. New Moon. Loved this movie! Not only did it provide a desperately needed escape from the house, but it so perfectly captured the heart of the book.
2. Christmas shopping: done! Boo's birthday is covered, too. It's so nice not to be racing around ordering at the last minute (and spending too much). Lulu and Boo will have a great Christmas and I didn't spend (much) more than I planned.
3. Starbucks' new Caramel Brulee Latte: Not quite as perfect as the beloved Gingerbread Latte, but very, very close.
4. Light Ranch dressing, which I have been scooping up on raw veggies by the cup-full.
5. Our new Christmas jammies: Lulu, Boo, and I all have matching red-and-white penguin pjs. How cute is that? I will be sad when they no longer think that's adorable.
Monday, November 23, 2009
Monday, November 9, 2009
Day 21: Fine, Be That Way!
I gotta be honest. Happiness is in short supply these days. I'm not miserable, mind you, I'm just ... well ... fine. It's hard to blog about fine. Fine isn't exciting. Fine isn't surprising. Fine isn't insightful or moving or meaningful. It's, you know, FINE.
Though now that I think about it, I ought to be grateful for fine. Because a year ago? I was NOT FINE. I was miserable. Pretty much every day. I was sad and exhausted and depressed. My marriage was over, but no one could quite admit it (except, I'll bet, our marriage counselor, who was the least surprised person on earth when we separated). Work was overwhelming and stressful. I wasn't giving 100% to the kids, in fact, I barely even remember Boo's second birthday except that the ex and I had a particularly awful fight the night before. Last Christmas is a complete blur. Anyway. Fine isn't so bad now that I remember what it was like to be definitively NOT FINE.
Moving on ... since we're a bit lacking in moments of happiness right now, today we're going to focus instead on a few things that make me happy.
1. LOVE THIS!
I need to keep this at my desk and hand them out liberally. Not that I am a paragon of fashion or anything, but I work at a place where anything other than shorts/jeans with a t-shirt makes people wonder if you're interviewing.
Though now that I think about it, I ought to be grateful for fine. Because a year ago? I was NOT FINE. I was miserable. Pretty much every day. I was sad and exhausted and depressed. My marriage was over, but no one could quite admit it (except, I'll bet, our marriage counselor, who was the least surprised person on earth when we separated). Work was overwhelming and stressful. I wasn't giving 100% to the kids, in fact, I barely even remember Boo's second birthday except that the ex and I had a particularly awful fight the night before. Last Christmas is a complete blur. Anyway. Fine isn't so bad now that I remember what it was like to be definitively NOT FINE.
Moving on ... since we're a bit lacking in moments of happiness right now, today we're going to focus instead on a few things that make me happy.
I need to keep this at my desk and hand them out liberally. Not that I am a paragon of fashion or anything, but I work at a place where anything other than shorts/jeans with a t-shirt makes people wonder if you're interviewing.
2. Likewise this one. I could order these in bulk. Which might get me fired, but it would be so worth it!
3. Clarisonic Mia: http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P245414&cm_mmc=us_search-_-GoogleBase-_-P245414-_-1201904&_requestid=42976&ci_src=14110944&ci_sku=1201904
At my dentist's insistance, I bought a Sonicare toothbrush earlier this year. I was amazed at how much better my teeth looked and felt after just one use. The Clarisonic does the exact same thing for your face.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Day 13: It Could Be Worse!
This is my motto for 2009 ... it could be worse. Because this has not been the best year of my life. Things have gone wrong. My marriage ended. Money has been in short supply. The real estate market continues to suck. I turned 35. Lulu started a new school. Boo had to adjust to not having her at his side every day. Work has been frustrating. We've all had to get used to a new schedule, earlier wake-up times, visits from Dad three times a week, and really, a whole new life.
But ... you know what? We HAVE adjusted, the bills are getting paid, life as a single mom turns out to not be all that different from life as a terminally unhappy wife of an uninterested, unengaged partner (actually, it's SO much better!), Lulu and Boo are both healthy, happy, and thriving in school, I have a job. I'm still 35, but aside from that, it's not so bad. And it could be a whole lot worse.
With that said, here are some recent moments of happiness ...
1. My bed. Shortly after exH moved out, I purchased a new mattress. All in all, I took the separation in stride -- the timing of it was a bit of a shock, but the fact of it was inevitable -- except for the bed. I could not sleep in that bed one more night. I went out one night and ordered my dream bed -- a luxurious king-size memory foam behemoth that took two very large men about half an hour to wrestle up a single flight of stairs. (It was cold you see, and memory foam in the cold becomes unfortunately brick-like in consistency.) I am still paying off the bed (24 months! no interest!), but I do not regret it for a moment. It's big enough for the three of us to snuggle in while watching cartoons, reading books, or having a little sleepover like we did last night. Not that I slept much, mind you, with Boo's feet stuck in my back, but there is something sweet and satisfying in a primitive sort of way about all of us sleeping in the same bed. Don't get me wrong -- I am very glad every one is back in their own beds tonight! -- but once in awhile, I can't resist.
2. Slinky. I bought Lulu and Boo Halloween-themed Slinkys at Target today on clearance. They loved them and seemed thrilled when I told them I had one as a little girl. It's fun when they embrace something I loved as a child (see below, The Little Prince).
3. Good friends. I am not great at friendship. It takes work and energy and as much as I love my friends, it's tough for me to summon up enough energy to reach out and carry my end of the relationship. I have lost so many wonderful friends over the years ... job changes, marriages, moves across the country, new babies all make it harder to stay in touch and as much as I hate myself for it, I just don't. Still, I am so lucky to have a few special friends who stay with me anyway. These are the kinds of people who, even when you don't talk to them for months or (yes it happens) years, still know you and can pick up right where you left off. There may be some catching up and filling in to do, but the core of the friendship is still solid. I called one of these friends the other night and just hearing her voice made me feel better. She knows me so well even though we only talk every few months and see each other once or twice a year. I caught up with another friend this afternoon and it was exactly the same. I was instantly at home with her, filling her in on the latest, chatting with her little daughter, who was once Lulu's best friend. I invited them over next weekend ... I hope we'll stay in touch more often than we have the past few years.
But ... you know what? We HAVE adjusted, the bills are getting paid, life as a single mom turns out to not be all that different from life as a terminally unhappy wife of an uninterested, unengaged partner (actually, it's SO much better!), Lulu and Boo are both healthy, happy, and thriving in school, I have a job. I'm still 35, but aside from that, it's not so bad. And it could be a whole lot worse.
With that said, here are some recent moments of happiness ...
1. My bed. Shortly after exH moved out, I purchased a new mattress. All in all, I took the separation in stride -- the timing of it was a bit of a shock, but the fact of it was inevitable -- except for the bed. I could not sleep in that bed one more night. I went out one night and ordered my dream bed -- a luxurious king-size memory foam behemoth that took two very large men about half an hour to wrestle up a single flight of stairs. (It was cold you see, and memory foam in the cold becomes unfortunately brick-like in consistency.) I am still paying off the bed (24 months! no interest!), but I do not regret it for a moment. It's big enough for the three of us to snuggle in while watching cartoons, reading books, or having a little sleepover like we did last night. Not that I slept much, mind you, with Boo's feet stuck in my back, but there is something sweet and satisfying in a primitive sort of way about all of us sleeping in the same bed. Don't get me wrong -- I am very glad every one is back in their own beds tonight! -- but once in awhile, I can't resist.
2. Slinky. I bought Lulu and Boo Halloween-themed Slinkys at Target today on clearance. They loved them and seemed thrilled when I told them I had one as a little girl. It's fun when they embrace something I loved as a child (see below, The Little Prince).
3. Good friends. I am not great at friendship. It takes work and energy and as much as I love my friends, it's tough for me to summon up enough energy to reach out and carry my end of the relationship. I have lost so many wonderful friends over the years ... job changes, marriages, moves across the country, new babies all make it harder to stay in touch and as much as I hate myself for it, I just don't. Still, I am so lucky to have a few special friends who stay with me anyway. These are the kinds of people who, even when you don't talk to them for months or (yes it happens) years, still know you and can pick up right where you left off. There may be some catching up and filling in to do, but the core of the friendship is still solid. I called one of these friends the other night and just hearing her voice made me feel better. She knows me so well even though we only talk every few months and see each other once or twice a year. I caught up with another friend this afternoon and it was exactly the same. I was instantly at home with her, filling her in on the latest, chatting with her little daughter, who was once Lulu's best friend. I invited them over next weekend ... I hope we'll stay in touch more often than we have the past few years.
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