Reflections of Me

Do you ever find that the traits that drive you absolutely INSANE in others are faults you yourself possess?

Take Lulu. I would jump in front of a bus for that kid, but man, does she make me crazy! I used to think we were just nothing alike and worried that we'd never really click the way I do with Boo. I can't remember what prompted it, but awhile ago I had a burst of clarity where I saw the true problem. Lulu is EXACTLY like me. And those things that bug me about her? Yup, they're the very things I don't like about myself. Like, she HATES change -- anything from a different brand of mac & cheese to changing schools. And she's super-shy around new people, sometimes behaving almost rudely. She's overly dramatic, worries about everything, cares way too much about what people think, and cries when things don't go her way.

One guess where she got all that.

She still drives me crazy, but at least now I get it. Those are all faults of mine, things I've struggled to overcome, some more successfully than others. I mean, I still dread change, but I can manage to be polite around new people. And I still worry too much, care too much, and cry too much. Part of what makes me nuts when I see these things in Lulu is that I know how much easier life will be for her if she can somehow learn now what it's taken me 36 years to grasp -- none of it matters! -- but I guess she'll have to figure it out herself.

Case in point: Earlier this week, she decided she wanted her hair cut. Apparently that very second. So she hacked off the front with safety scissors. Awesome. At first, I was furious. What was she thinking?? Why didn't she just ask me to take her to get her hair cut? Now I was going to have to pay to get it fixed. Argh. But then I thought back to the time I turned my hair orange trying to color it and had to borrow $100 from then-boyfriend exH to get it corrected professionally. But that was like 13 years ago! Or, you know, the time I decided to try to rewire the bathroom and ended up shelling out $250 to an electrician to fix the resulting mess. That was just a couple weeks ago.

So I relaxed, took her to get it fixed, and made her promise not to do it again. Once she saw how much better the professional cut looked, she readily agreed. Now let's hope she doesn't try her hand at electrical work!