Housing Crisis

I just ordered this book on my Kindle and I can't wait to read it: Life Would Be Perfect If I Lived in That House. It's about the author's quest to overcome the restlessness that drives her to want to move often and find the perfect home. I haven't read so much as a page yet, but already I suspect she and I may be soulmates.

Of course, house lust is very much on my mind right now. Practically speaking, I need a place to live that satisfies a few basic requirements: good school, safe neighborhood, not too far from work and exH. There are probably dozens of apartments that satisfy those needs, but they don't satisfy the deep desire I have for a HOME. A place where I can not only reside, but also live. Where I can breathe again, knowing the air, the walls, the cabinets are mine, where the rugs cannot be pulled out from under me. Literally or figuratively. Perhaps buying a house is not the answer to all of my problems (as the author of the book ultimately learns), but it may very well be the answer to my prayers. For me, it's a physical representation of the fresh start I am making in my life and the foundation of the new future I am building for myself.

The house I live in now feels oppressive and dark. Even though it was at one time my dream house. It has everything I thought I wanted, back when I thought I had the perfect life. The floors, the cabinets, the fixtures ... I hand-selected each of them and they all came together to create a home that, while beautiful, now reflects someone I can't quite remember. And in fact, I often feel that I am living in someone else's house, even though it was built and designed for me.

I have lived in this house now for nearly five years -- the longest I have lived anywhere in my life. For someone who claims to crave security and stability, that realization was a big surprise to me. No wonder I am aching to move. That's just what feels "normal" to me, and staying put feels like somehow I am stalled.

Let's take a quick journey through my abodes over the years, shall we?

Age 0-2: Small white house in Tallahassee, FL

Age 3-5: Beautiful house in the woods in Tallahassee

Age 6-7: Big white house in Ft. Lauderdale, FL

Age 8: 3 different homes while my father was sick and then passed away (aunt's farmhouse, friend's big white house, small duplex, all in or near Tallahassee)

Age 9-12: Pretty wood house in Tallahassee

Age 12-15: Condo in Falls Church, VA
Age 15-17: Another white house (!) in Alexandria, VA
Age 18-20: 5 different dorms at college, plus a summer stay at a beach house in Ocean City, MD
Age 21: Ancient apartment in Boston

Age 22-23: A few months at my mom's brick house in Alexandria, then a cool studio in Dupont Circle in DC

Age 24-25: A few months with a friend in Alexandria, then a nice apartment in Adams Morgan in DC

Age 25-26: Bought my first house! Small brick townhouse in Alexandria

Age 26: Two different apartments in NYC
Age 27-28: Back to the little brick townhouse

Age 29-30: Massive, 90-year-old stone house in Birmingham, AL (home purchase #2, see photo)

Age 30-35: A few months in the little brick townhouse, then a move across town to a big brick townhouse (house purchase #3)

Age 35-? ... Stay tuned ...

That's a lot of houses! More even than I would have guessed. How do you think all those moves affect a person? Especially when moving is considered one of the top 5 most stressful events in your life. My hope is that the next house will be a place where I can stay for many years. I think that's why I am so set against renting, even though in many ways that would be the best option for me. But renting means I will HAVE to move again while buying puts that decision in my hands alone. Who knows? Maybe the restlessness will kick in again in a few years. But just maybe I will find a true home.