Instructions, Please

This whole single parenting thing? I'm not sure it's working out. Or maybe it's just the parenting part that's the problem. Boo? Has turned into a monster. Not a cute cuddly monster like Sully in Monsters, Inc. But a mean, scary monster like the ones I used to think lurked under my bed. He fights, he sulks, he throws temper tantrums. Oh my god, the tantrums. They may be the death of me. And they always (of course) occur when we need to be somewhere, like 10 minutes ago. He's 3 1/2 ... tell me this is just a phase. Please? I don't remember Lulu being so awful.

But Lulu is a challenge all her own. Last night she wants to know what it feels like to be dead. This morning she interrogates me on how to find someone to marry. How you make babies came up in there too. Where's the freaking manual?

Probably right next to "Post-Divorce Dating for Dummies."

I just can't shake the lingering doubts I have about P. Nothing's really changed. We fought, we made up, all was well. But somewhere in there my buttons got pushed (again) and now I am freaked out and scared. But I still don't know how much of that is me and how much is him. Let's break it down a bit, shall we?

Me: Trust issues. Like, big time
Him: Weird, overly close, but (we think) platonic relationship with married female coworker
Me: Falls in love too fast
Him: Been in love once in 45 years
Me: Wants connection
Him: Wants connection ... sometimes
Me: Abandonment issues
Him: There for me ... usually
Me: Commitment issues
Him: Commitment issues

Right. We've got some issues. But what to do? If the issues are mostly mine, I want to work on them, not walk away. If they're mostly his, then I'm willing to say enough. I just don't know where that line is. And, I have to admit, I'm scared. Not so much of not being with P (though I don't want to make a mistake -- it's hard to find someone you adore, have fun with, and are crazy attracted to), but of being alone again. And, to be fair, not even so much of being alone, but specifically of being alone while sharing a house with exH. Escaping to P's has been a life-saver these past few weeks, especially on the weekends. Where will I go now?

What should I do? Walk away now? Try to work things out with P? Give Lulu and Boo to exH and admit myself to a lovely insane asylum on the beach? (Those have to exist somewhere, right?)