Startling Realization and a P.S.

Here's the problem with blogging. It's a permanent record. And after P said yesterday that he feels like we're always in crisis mode lately, I decided to man up and check the transcript, as it were. I read every blog post about P and he's right. I have blogged nearly every week about some problem I have with him ... he's not into me ... he doesn't IM me during the week ... we're lacking a deeper connection ... angst about WW ... more angst about WW ... etc.

Wow. That's pretty brutal when you look at it from P's perspective -- regardless of whether my concerns were justified (I think a few were legit, most were overblown) -- that's a lot of "we need to talk" moments for one fledgling relationship.

So here's the postscript ... I'm going to try to post once a day for the next few weeks, even if it's just a line or two, to track the progress of my New World Order pledge. Am I managing my relationship anxieties? Following through on giving P (and me) some breathing room? Getting enough sleep? Swimming 3 times a week? Making time for other friends?

And just to be clear ... I am doing these things for ME, not to make P happy. I do suspect that if I can keep myself balanced, P and I just might be OK (and I'm certain that if I can't, we won't), but no matter what happens with him, I need to make sure I am keeping myself sane.